It Has Officially Started

As you will read in this article, it hit me a lot harder than I thought possible. After all, I am a tough guy and always am pretty sure of the consequences of what I thought might happen to me. Based on what I knew, it hardly seemed like a difficult situation that would put me in a serious state.

Yet, I broke down!

As I am sure that you know already, as I have written on here before, I just learned recently that I have prostate cancer. Fortunately, it did not seem very serious based on what I was told by my usual specialist doctor, a urologist, whom I visit regularly who is experienced in this area. This was told to me also by the cancer specialist whom I had just met at the hospital in Windsor, a radiation oncologist. I also had just visited with my family doctor around this time who seemed quite positive about the state that I was in.

Oh sure, I was put on a system by my urologist doctor in which I would receive a vaccine needle injection once every three months for 2 to 3 years. Then, my new cancer specialist was to put me on a system of receiving radiation treatments for about forty days shortly ie 1 treatment per day for 5 days per week for 8 weeks. Hardly a big deal. I might suffer a little bit of hardship like diarrhea or tiredness from the radiation but not very much otherwise. No need to worry a lot at all.

By a matter of coincidence, appointments had been set up which, on the first day, was one with my family doctor while the one on the next day was set up in the hospital to have some tests done before my major program there was to start.

My family doctor appointment was really one that had been scheduled a long time before and was my usual medical appointment that was set up to look at my medical condition yearly. We spent a fair bit of time talking about the cancer situation I was in. She was very positive about my state of health and about what was to take place thereafter in a very short period of time. Her records seemed quite positive now about my condition.

As an example, several months ago a test was taken on my system and it showed that my PSA results had literally skyrocketed upwards.

“PSA, which stands for Prostate-Specific Aantigen, is a protein produced by the prostate gland. It is present in the blood of all men at low levels, but PSA levels often rise, sometimes dramatically, in the presence of prostate cancer.” (Healthfully)

She told me that it had risen from a very low amount to over “50.” That amount was unbelievably high. Here is what it should have been:

“For men over 70, healthy PSA levels will usually range between .4 and 17.8 ng/mL, with an average of 8.9.”

We spent a good bit of time talking about it and I have to admit that, after the session, I was in pretty good spirits. Naturally this would happen since she showed me a report that was undertaken after one of the tests that I did that showed that my number now was about .7! Quite a drop in a very short time.

Let me jump forward now to my big session at the Hospital. I had seen my cancer specialist there before. However, this time to me really was the first time that I was going to be “officially” looked after there. Sure, I expected to be there for quite a number of days for treatment but I did not feel all that nervous or upset about starting. Or so it seemed to me.

Of course, there was a bit of a problem starting off. I found out that I was going to have this issue every time I was going to have treatment there. I had to take Phillips Milk of Magnesia every night before and then a treatment drink of 500 ml of water before I left home as part of the process of being treated. Not only toilet time but who the heck wanted to be so full of water that one needed to hold for a longer period of time than normal.

I met first with a wonderful lady there whose job it was to talk with new patients and their family members and let them know about what was going to happen. More importantly, that person had the responsibility to answer every question that she was asked by the patient and other family members to make everyone feel a lot better before the medical process would start. She was given a considerable number of questions to answer by my wife and my son who were with me and by me. She did a great job of answering to make us all feel a lot better.

Then, my family members were asked to leave our meeting room and some of my tests were to start immediately thereafter in a different location to where I had to go. It all took about twenty-five minutes with a whole bunch of tests involving all of the equipment that I will ultimately be using as part of my forty days of medical treatment. The rooms were huge there as was all of the equipment under which I would be located.

It was a bit painful given my medical shape but not all that hurtful considering how much time we were there and what had to be undertaken to make sure future testing would work out properly. I learned that the equipment usage would really only take a few minutes per day so it should all work out quite well even if there was a little bit of pain.

I lay down on the "bed" feature of one of these big machines. It did not have a nice, soft mattress but rather a rather hard metal covering on which I lay down. After being in that position for so long, it took a bit of effort for me to sit up again. Fortunately the medical people there helped me do that.

Then my shock happened. All ready for me to leave since everything was finished, right. Regretfully, I could not do it. I completely and totally broke down mentally! My mind just stopped working.

I do not understand why it happened but it did. I did not feel this way at all before I attended at the hospital and especially before I started taking these tests. I seemed to be quite okay, at least to myself. I now completely lost control of myself and became extremely emotional after this testing was finished.

I was lucky that my medical person was there to help. She and I talked together for about fifteen to twenty minutes as I was choking up and talking about all of the horrific experiences that I experienced especially over the last five years or so. I could not believe that I was now experiencing my past so strongly even though my medical people had told me that I was probably in pretty good shape now.

I talked about almost dying with that virtually unknown medical disease that I experienced between Christmas and New Year’s day several years before. I talked to her about my fears about dying now when I wanted to be alive to help my family members for as long as I could. It all hit me so strongly even though everything seemed now so positive for me.

All that I can tell you is that this wonderful medical person who was there made me feel so much better once I spilled out what was troubling me so much. She was so good in listening to me and then talking with me to help me find an answer. My actions were so unbelievable in desperation that her job must have been designed as well to meet the horrific experience that I had now and am sure many other hospital patients suffered at the same time. She did magnificently in making me feel so much better very quickly.

I really do not want to talk much more in this article about what happened because it is not necessary. I am better now and so happy that I met my new friend at the Hospital. Heck, she escorted me back to find my family in the waiting area and made sure that I was given a nice cup of tea so that I felt better before we got in our car and left for home.

Now you, dear reader, have it all. End of article!